But making applesauce isn't!! I know in my last post I said that it was burning, but it wasn't!
( I google searched "blogging is hard" and this is on of the many interesting images it came up with. Try it, it's random!)
Have I mentioned I'm not a
huge fan of the stuff? Applesauce, I mean. It's good, but I'm never like "oh, man, you know what sounds good right now? Applesauce!" It's more like "Well, there's nothing else in the fridge and it's not moldy so...applesauce for dinner!" And then to home make it? It's like, why not just go buy a bottle of the cheap stuff? Why waste time and effort on home made stuff when you can just buy a bottle of Mots for like a buck and a half? I know, I know, I sound like a crazy person, but here me out. I'm going to explain to you the hows and whys of my home made applesauce:
It was a hot sunny day. I had just left Scottsbluff, Nebraska, a horrid, humid place and had just drove back to the promise land: Laramie, Wy. (haha) My knight in shining armor, Kenny, was off slaying the hypothetical dragon that is Chili's Bar and Grill. (Which means he was at work, not jacking off, which is kinda what that last sentence made it sound like. Side note: He
is my knight in shining armor. Love of my life. No joke.) Anyway, I got home, opened the fridge and found, I kid you not, 7 individually wrapped apples, on various shelves and what not. 7! (There were other things in there too; a bag of half eaten spinach, several oranges, lots of Gatorade bottles, almost a full gallon of milk that had expired the week before...) I knew immediately what had happened. In an effort to be healthy, the love of my life went to the grocery store and had bought ingredients for a green smoothie, but had absentmindedly forgotten to make said smoothie. Seven times. Seven! Annnnyway, I saw all of those apples and thought APPLE PIE! Then I realized "I don't really like apple pie too much, and Kenny had bought these to be healthy, and I'm feeling pretty lazy so, maybe not the best idea." And then it hit me; APPLESAUCE! That stuff will keep for ages and while it's not the most healthy thing you can eat, it's not horrible! And honestly, how hard can it be? Like, apples, water and cinnamon right? (right!) And then, the thought of my tiny little apartment filling with the smell of said apples and cinnamon? Well, it made my mouth water and I got to chopping. (Sorry I don't have pictures of the process....but really? It's chopping and crockpotting. You should know what this looks like)

(Apples...I used green ones)
First off, I peeled and cored them. Just used a carrot peeler and a cheap ass knife we got in a cheap ass silverware kit. Both performed beautifully.
Second, I chopped them up into about 1 inch cubes, and put them in my crockpot. ( I LOVE my freaking crockpot) I also sampled them at this point. (What, I wanted to make sure they were still good! They were.)
Next, I added some water (about 1 and a half cups, but whose counting really?), some cinnamon (Lots), a big glug of vanilla, about a half a cup of brown sugar, and the juice of a whole lemon.
(This is a pic I found by Google searching "making applesauce". Not as interesting as "blogging is hard", but this pic is pretty awesome!)
Finally, I set the crock pot on high and let the whole mess sit there for like, 6 hours or so. And then, I had applesauce!! I did stir it a couple of times during the whole cooking process because, well, I wanted to feel like I was actually
doing something. Also, as the apples cooked, stirring helped them mush up and get smoother. Chunky applesauce = vomit (to me). But creamy, yummy, smooth applesauce = freaking awesome!! And freaking awesome it was! So much better than Mots, or really, any other applesauce I have ever tasted. And so, to be cliche (pretend there is that little accent over the e; I don't know how to do it), when life hands you lemons, make lemon aid OR, more appropriate for me, when the love of your life absentmindedly buys half the apples in Safeway, make applesauce
Anyway, if you made it this far into the story, you deserve a reward! How about a picture of half cooked, home made, delicious, better than Mots, applesauce!!
Isn't it beautiful? I wish you could smell it. It was like Heaven
So, I guess that's about it for now. I've got another cooking related post I'll type up here in the next few days. And then, who knows?